Rock and Roll Suicide-David Bowie

00-daniel
Originally uploaded by mediaeater.

Never Fails
I look forward to a specific event for what seems like an eternity, and by the bewitching hour...all plans have gone to shit.

AT TIMES I WONDER...Do I Set Myself Up For Disappointment?

I had the best layed plans to party with friends to the tunes of the Barbeez since November of 2004. The guest list was becoming so large, I feared lack of tables at the club. I should have known...used my past experience... to lead me in forseeing the future.

It's not like I am used to people not showing up for events. It is not the common thread to my nightmares. Bad dreams also include large groups of friends in attendence of a much anticipated event, but yawning in complete disgust and boredom. I think this was a reoccuring dream of mine before my parents spent all of my life insurance money on "the wedding". Maybe I just hoped that no one would show up to that!

So anyways...with plans of getting together with former coworkers...dancing...drinking...acting like fools...I started to get that not-so-funny lump in my tummy around 5 pm. It was like manning the substitute teacher phone line on a snow day that was never declared. Call after call came in with cancelations....causing me to wonder if I should even bother myself. But I plodded forward...with expectations of ultimate happiness dwindling. Once inside the door of the local bar/club...I found the place hopping...but the faces that stared back at me were none that I knew.

There...at a table near the very back...smelly rest room back...I found two smiling chums....and later...before the band started their first set...several more filtered in from the bitter cold.

....Still, I never really had the time that I had hoped for...the out of control dancing...the laughing...the heart pumping fun that one expects when you plan something so far in advance.

I Set Myself Up For This...NOW, I am sure.

Still...the band rocked...the Barbeez would be worthwhile...even if I was all by myself...which is probably...with my luck...the situation I will find myself in the next time I have
.....Big Plans