Torture of a Middle Aged Mind

Sleepless mornings are a totally unfair state of the middle aged. You want to sleep, but can't. You get up to pee, and the body refuses to fall back into oblivion. Birds, squirrels, and the rusltling of leaves cause you to toss and turn. Useless thoughts turn over and over inside your head. These images and ideas are not worth jotting down, so that you remember them when you awake...you are already awake....to your own dismay. This is a TORTURE of the MIDDLE AGED MIND.

Other forms of such unwanted torture may include but are not limited to:

Raising disruptive teens
The inability to stay up passed an hour that most club bands start to perform their very first set
Losing your eyesight-reading the paper, your favorite book, or the yellow pages (to locate a nursing home)
Being able to fit into clothing in the junior department, yet looking absolutly ridiculous in them
Having daily headaches...not hangovers
Your cool body piercing begins to sag

Need I go on?

I think not...however,
One may add to this list if they feel so inclined!...or want to assist me in feeling better about my MIDDLE AGED SELF.