Daydream Believer-The Monkees

blog title
Originally uploaded by christopherkinsey.

I cried in front of a group today
just let it all out...
started as a trickle of a tear
that I just could not hold back
AS HARD AS I TRIED...
Then I just had to get up and leave
struggling to get down the hallway
ESCAPE into a girl's bathroom
where I am sure that many girls have cried before...
Just much younger than I...over a test... or a boyfriend... or something not nearly as significant as my strife...(to me that is)

It happened in a meeting with 5 other peers
where I found out that my position is not guaranteed back
in the fall
...and lost it
the job
and my senses
and all control
all poise
all respect...

So I hid in my empty classroom at the end of the day and drove home
with sunglasses

Once I reached the serenity of my backyard
and really let it loose
my neighbor
two doors down
is playing this very sappy song on his radio...geez

and a memory
of my MOTHER
sititng in her own kitchen
comes to mind

She is crying
with a cigarette
and a glass of wine
over an arguement that she had with my dad
(nightly event)

But this song
THIS VERY SONG THAT MY NEIGHBOR IS IRONICALLY PLAYING
was a theme song
during my high school "trauma" years

She would sing it to ME
I would sing it to HER
We would hold eachother in pain
...and now
I have no one to share this with:(

I could call her and let her IN...
but she does not remember me
so I don't

CHEER UP?...I DON"T THINK SO
OKAY...I don't need the job...
I just like it.

It's gonna be another one of those nights
listening to music
on the floor
of my kitchen

Cheer Up Sleepy Jean
yeah right
Homecoming queen
yeah right...
All just pieces of my past

And I wanna call an old boyfriend for some freaky reason...sheeesh!

What of my future?
Looks like that NO SMILE rule
is getting a run for it's money.

"You once thought of me
As a white knight on a steed.
Now you know how happy I can be.
Oh, and our good times starts and end
Without dollar one to spend.
But how much, baby, do we really need.

Cheer up, sleepy Jean.
Oh, what can it mean.
To a daydream believer
And a homecoming queen."
-The Monkees