Shut Up-Blink 182

You'll Get Yours
Originally uploaded by blueneurosis.

Is it Wrong to HATE your family?
Not like your parents who raised you
or your siblings
But the family that you created?

Someday...They will get Theirs
Cuz I have already gotten MINE

I am a nervous wreck around 17
He makes me want to run...far...far...away
An unending stream of hurtful words and actions.

Today is the perfect example of what I go through
....A day that could have been filled with the fantastic bonding experience of mother and son...
Senior Picture Photography Session

I ran errands only to stay out of the house while he freaked out about what he would wear...two choices of outfits, one a shirt and tie, another more casual...polo and shorts.

Because H was out of town and 17 could not get his act together early enough to have him pre-tie his tie for him...I was to blame. That was the beginning of the rage. Swearing, Screaming, Throwing a pile of mail across the dining room, spilling out onto the floor. Evidently I am a Dumb Ass Bitch that deserves the crap he deals me.

I want to Run
I want him to Shut Up
I remain Silent and walk away...wait in the running car, for him to come out and be driven to his appointment. After listening to him swear and scream at me the entire way to the studio...I am in no shape to join him in the photo shoot room. I quietly approach the receptionist desk, take out my credit card, and fall into the arms of a navy blue leather couch that awaits me.
Other parents stroll in with happy teens, joining them, laughing, numerous outfits. I gaze at the pictures of his classmates on the walls. I listen to him talking and being kind to the photographer in the other room.

I want to shrivle up and die.

In the end...in the car...on the way home...he attempts an apology.
It lasts for a milli-second...only to continue with why I am such a Bitch that only sits in the sun, watches movies on TV, smokes, and looks at my laptop.

I hate HIM.
And H is next on my list.