Salvation-The Cranberries

On a Night
When All I can Do
Is THINK
Of work...
I'm gonna veg out and watch TV

A little SEX and the CITY

Will take my mind off it all...

"What is SHE thinking?"


Not so mindless entertainment after all!

(Of course, my laptop sits in front of me as well...but it is Snow White)

sex and the city
Originally uploaded by haels_batman.

Smells Like Teen Spirit-Nirvana

bart nirvana
Originally uploaded by arandanita_rockanlover.

I can't get them outta my mind...
I go from High School-Never Never Land-Mischief makers...

To -Middle School-Sweet Urchlins

And I can't get them outta my head!

Things they Did...Said...Today-
.....Yesterday

Things they will say...days to come-

Things I did Wrong-
Things I did Right-
Things I will change-
...Things I will keep the same

All Teens-PreTeens through Almost Adults-

Full of SPIRIT...some sooo Good
...Some sooo Challenging

And my sense of SMELL becomes more
Distinguished
Each DAY!

Tonight It's You-Cheap Trick

After a completley miserable, mismatched day,
I took a steaming hot bath,
hopped in the car to get cigs from the gas station,
and bumped into an old friend...
who with one swift hug,
lifted me off my feet,
and spun be around...
"Good to see Ya!"

That's all it takes...
just one smile...
and a spin!

So at home,
after a cig,
I will skip my Desperate Housewives,
and spend some time,
with an favorite guy of mine...

Jeff Bridges...

He can always make me smile...
and spin!

Talk Dirty To ME-POISON

Yeah...RIGHT,

Just thrown me in the tub...
I need a good soak!

bath
Originally uploaded by Forbidden Apple.

Out of Touch-Hall and Oates

I stand
with arms outstretched...
and a silent scream
cries out

I roll
up into a ball on the couch...
and an infant pain
bellows

Why am I such a basket
case
with no where to turn
but inside?

And at each corner
each connection attempted
I lose...Touch

Friends I have
Friends I have been
All a futile attempt
to touch...and be touched

I have such GOOD intentions

With a smile... I awaken each day
Toss my worries to the wind

...Chase illusional blues to the side

And outstrech my arms...to the sea
But I do not see YOU.

This pose I take...towards the sea, the sky, the woods...Is what keeps me kicking...
Even when the chips are down.

And I have it GOOD...
what do OTHERS do...
to stay positive?

So Out of Touch

*Exactly*
Originally uploaded by Lewesrat.

Under Pressure-Queen/Bowie

Where is that road I am supposed to follow?

I think I am lost...
...today!

And between you and me...
...................I've MISPLACED my red shoes as well.

This is our last dance
This is our last dance
This is ourselves
Under pressure
Under pressure
Pressure

Dorothy
Originally uploaded by ART NAHPRO.

Shiny Happy People-REM

So...I guess I am this....

A Big Fat Smile...

Today...at a Team Building Experience
we pass around a piece of paper with our names at the top

AND... in the box drawn by a computer generated program...
this PAPER was to be filled in by other staff members who could ONLY compose POLITE sentences and phrases about you...

SO ...in just...
THEY HAD TO LIE...!!!

They passed these papers around alternate tables as the Olympic torch passes through countries and states...only to return to it's original owner...

When it returns to it's owner...you get...
what looks like...
a page in your senior yearbook...

"You are a really nice person,
Glad I got to know you...
Have a nice summer"

Or...

A fun Valentine...

You are Soooo...Sweet...

And my page...
after being tossed around the "Round Table" said...

".....You've got a great smile...
always upbeat...
Fun to be around...
Great smile...
Positively personal...
Shiny, Happy, ME!!!!

Voices Carry-Till Tuesday

x
Looking Back
-Entry #3

WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU DREAM?

I have the same dream
over and over
I am running away
from an intruder
in the night

The running
never ends
until
mom wakes me up
but even though
the dream is over
I am still frightened
for both of us


AUGUST DAY

Birthday
balloons
friends
cake
gifts
little girls all over my backyard
...Thank You


CLUB 41

Every Sunday afternoon
I am slid into a booth of maroon vinyl
with several quarters
to buy Coke or bags of chips

Sometimes I even play Skeeball
if the adults don't mind

They usually don't
because they are up at the bar
laughing and smoking
and drinking
...my cares away

CAT NAP

Asleep on the couch
with the t.v.
on in the background

We curl up
under a blanket of dreams
and drift away
from
the Days of Our Lives

PHOTOGRAPH

I have a picture
in my mind
of you holding my hand on a crowded city street

I am only 8 or 9
and you are smiling

I want to go back there again

just for one day
with a camera, for safe keeping

I LOVE YOU

Do you know
how much I loved
to see you
fast asleep?

Sheep-Pink Floyd

With a sheepish grin...
I ventured into my favorite shoe store
and purchased a pair of red HOT sandals
that I had been keeping an eye on
since last spring

I watched them drop from an extremely outrageous
price of $69...
to clearance of $49 with an extra 80% off

$10 find!!!

Walk out of the store...

Smile...BIG smile...
Don't look back!

Listen to Sheep off the Animals CD...
all the way home...
and prepare for the DOGs...
to attack once inside the kitchen door

I have no idea why the purchase of shoes makes me happy...
maybe it's because they are easy to fit on the foot

On some days...
all it takes is a good shoe!

On others...
I just insert my foot...
into mouth!

Goat Braces
Originally uploaded by ksharghi.

I Know What Boys Like-The Waitresses

There are no girls here...

I walk alone
in a classroom
filled with the aroma of Axe

I have also discovered the secret
of appealing to an entire room of adolescent men

Humor...
High Expectations...
Challenging Questions...
Personal stories of life...
........and an entire bag of TROPICAL STARBURST...

Thrown with complete random thoughts

At those who give absolute effort...
towards assignments...
Humor...
High expectations...
Challenging questions...
Personal stories of life...
and....consuming entire bags of Tropical Starburst

I really enjoyed my class today...
opened the door to show them off...
had three adult compliments in 55 minutes...
and left
...with a smile!

No Girls Allowed...

That's completely okay by me...
-Never Grow Up-

Nineteenth Nervous Breakdown-Rolling Stones

So...here's my list...

I talk to my dog
He's the only one that pretends to listen

I feel unprepared
Looking the part as well

I open my email
Yet have received none from no one

I continue to opt for optimism
Am found running for the door

I tend to THINK things are going well
untill I come to my senses

I THINK I have diagnosed myself
with multiple neurosis

"You better stop, look around
Here it comes, here it comes, here it comes, here it comes
Here comes your nineteenth nervous breakdown

Oh, who's to blame, that girl's just insane
Well, nothing I do don't seem to work
It only seems to make the matters worse.
Oh, please"

faces
Originally uploaded by vince_zaar.

Afternoons and Coffee Spoons-Crash Test Dummies

After spending a few hours wandering a bookstore...

I skip the in-house Starbucks
to come home...
stir up my own latte

RELAX

Yet something stirs...
WITHIN

close up
Originally uploaded by L. A. Price.

C'MERE-Interpol

pooch
Originally uploaded by Grand Staircase.

My dog makes snow angels in the yard...

And I guess that I am really
.......never alone

" It's way too late to be this locked inside ourselves
The trouble is that you're in love with someone else
It should be me. Oh, it should be me

Sacred parts, your get aways
You come along on summer days
Tenderly, tastefully

It's so me, we make time
Try to find somebody else
This place is mine

Set the day, you know exactly how I feel
I had my doubts little girl
I'm in love with something real
It could be me, that's changing!"
-INTERPOL

And She Was-Talking Heads

girl in the fog
Originally uploaded by killbyte.

One never knows
how certain sets of curcumstances
will shape their lives

As my children are close
to becoming adults
I am apt to look back
at my own life as a child

The memories are painful yet
still these events
play over and over
inside my head

I believe that my mother
did her best with what she had
and like so many other adult children
I have vowed to change my own life
in her memory

Yet with my loss
I am visited by thoughts
that force me to return
to my past...and weep

I am not sure
which of her diseases
became more devastating
to cope with

Both injured her memory skills and abilities
to view life
as a positive journey
or view life
in any way at all

I could promise
to not engage in a social coctail
but I don't

and I can't
promise myself
to hold on to each memory

But I do
Promise
to have my voice heard
because
I know
that I am not
the only one

To go through this experience...
AM I?

-The First In a Series of Diary Experiences Titled:

LOOKING BACK AT MOTHER
-A Retrospect of Alcohol, Alzheimers,
& a Grown Woman's Childhood


FAMILY VACATIONS

I am
an only child riding
in the back seat of a teal Rambler
inhaling second hand smoke
and listening to
the pages of a rustling map
with wrong directions
being screamed out at every
turn

Melt With You-Modern English

Mariana
Originally uploaded by lightpainter.

Looking Back
-Entry #2

SUNSHINE

Screams through my window
with the morning alarm
calling my name

Down for the count
Tang and cereal
I wake my mother
who is asleep on the couch
...since the night before
My first day of school



5:30 DINNER BELL

My mom cries
over a pan of burnt pork chops
near a hole punched into
the kitchen wall

I try to
-embrace her
but she can't see me
through her broken glasses

and she grabs a glass of wine
instead


THE GUARANTEE

After school
I get to go to my friend
Mary's

I have
my happy face packed

I'm not mad that
I don't get to see the
...moving truck

I have been
guaranteed that
things will
be
better
in this
new
house


SHADOWPLAY

On a sunbeaming afternoon
in Marla Conway's backyard
we make caves for our
Barbies
in the sandbox

Her brothers screech up on
their bannana seat bikes
and give us rides in the
alley

We scream with glee
adn I don't think of

mother at all


TURKEY STUFFING

Early Christmas morning
I awake
to an aluminum tree with
revolving rainbow lighting and
mom and dad

arguing

over how to make
the stuffing

Do they see my eyes aglow

or do they even care to know?

Snowbound-Genesis

Left
Originally uploaded by Martica.

As a younger girl...I had "this thing". Snow on the ground was way too beautiful to disturb. While friends scurried and tumbled through drifts, constructed igloos, and defended forts from snowball destruction...
I refused to change the peacefulness of it's depth.

When my own children were tiny...I sanctioned an entire area of the yard..."No Play Zone"...and would bask in it's untouched glory.

It's sorta like sand on a beach...no footprints...just natural ripples of grain.

I do treasure a photograph that was captured when I was exactly 17 years old. I am standing in front of my house in the city...a drift that measures 4 1/2 feet tall rises behind me...and I...in my grey MAXI coat...am dared to venture "beyond".

I never voluntarily touched it...let it be on it's own...yet the picture that was taken just moments later...by my friend who later left me behind and moved to Australia...is quite DISTURBING.
I am laying face down in it's glory!

I am past all of this now...
Gonna go outside and make snow angles...

But remember Frank Zappa-
"Don't you eat that yellow snow"

Call Me-Blondie

And on a day when all of us "Keepers of Knowledge" are bound to our desks...

No urchlins storming the hallways...
celebrating a day off

I sit...
entering grades and comments

Staging the new semester lesson plans...
arranging new folders and seating charts

The phone rings...
and the promises recorded on my video cell phone
just the day before...
at a locker in corridor seven
...are kept

A direct line in...
chimes the voice of a student
who when standing-is a good 8 inches over me...

BEAMING...
That his homework is complete...

"I DID IT"...
"You owe me a bag of Chips!"

Video did not kill my "shining stars"...
It gave them motivation!

Voila!

Coca-Cola Phone
Originally uploaded by daveadams.

Where Am I on the Highway of Life?...Bummer!!!

The Education Highway Paintown 4 Loony-Bin Lane 21 TravelWorld 44 Hobotown 122 Dumpsville 230 Please Drive Carefully

Username:

Where are you on the highway of life?

From Go-Quiz.com

Video Killed the Radio Star-The Buggles

Celumacro
Originally uploaded by Rodrigo Muniz.

It has also MAIMED the urchlins in my classroom!

All the PROMISES....

of assignments turned in
homework done over the weekend
behaviors that will change for the better
extra credit turned in on time

...and verification of knowledge...

My Cell Phone with Video Capturing Features...
has maimed their skills and tecniques...

of back track wriggling out of words merely spoken

and turned it all into proof on film!

And TODAY...I used my updated tool...
which is usually buried at the bottom of my purse...
only to be removed one ring...too late...

Carried to the locker space at the end of the day...
recorded a promise...of finishing homework...
to store it for Monday morning.

!

Pictures of You-The Cure

Cary and Tory Hermann aged 9 1/2 and 7 1/2
Originally uploaded by ART NAHPRO.

TELL ME THIS...

Do you smile...
Do you look away...
Do you flinch...
Do you strike a pose?

What is the personal art of having your photograph taken?

And even better yet...
the PASSPORT picture eludes me even more.

Should you smile...
Take the Innocent grin...
or Criminal Mug Shot?

Who really looks like themselves in these captured moments?

And would you actually want to be recognized?

Are We Really What We Seem?

Do We Look Like We Believe We Appear?

Why does the mirror in my bathroom
deceive me so?

I'm not even gonna touch the whole video camera CONUNDRUM!!!!

Someone Saved My Life Tonight-Elton John

>When all hope is LOST...

YOU may think that Youth...
.....is WASTED on the YOUNG...

But even through those with pierced ears
....and skateboards...
.....still managing to carry a 3.6 GPA...

THEY can turn around and surprise you!

...Even those you yourself...have bore...

So when receiving a letter from the local Police Department in the mail slot this afternoon caused me to take a deep breath, and expect the unexpected...
I reached for a cigarette and glass of wine, even before the suggestion of tearing open the envelope...

But as stated before...
When you LEAST expect it...they turn around and make cause for you to BEAM...

My son..on an afternoon with temperatures below 14 degrees...upon walking home from school...a day where his headphones were accidentally left at home on the dining room table....

SAVED AN ELDERLY WOMAN"S LIFE...

Truly saved her...heard her moaning a silent groan in a puddle of blood at her back door, with groceries and cracked eggs sprawled all around her...blood frozen to her face and coat...glasses broken...poked into her wrinkled skin...a receipt stamped in time of two hours prior...proving time out in cold...with no one in ear shot...did I mention "PUDDLES" of blood?

After he helped her into her home...and cleaned up the blood...calling 911... the paramedics arrived...splinted broken wrists, bandaged cuts that required stitches, strapped her to a gurnee, and rushed her to the hospital...police officers took his information....and commended him...
For as little as 20 minutes later-it would become dark...and a woman who lives alone...
would have frozen alone...
with no one ever to realize that she would have... died alone...

And in the mail...the chief of POLICE...commends my son ...for his dedication to citizenship...and performance that "Not all teens his age would respond to".

When all hope is lost....you must continue to believe....and as he reads his letter...over a game of Half LIfe...he says to himself,

"It wasn't that big of a deal."

I tell him.."I'm so PROUD of YOU."

He, unknowingly, saved my life as well

heretohelp
Originally uploaded by blueneurosis.

Let's Get This Party Started-Korn

I'm Bored
Originally uploaded by kazf01.

The end of the semester drags on...
and as if all are trapped in a moment set in time...

We wander through desolate hallways...
preparing for life's little exams...
...and end of semester exams as well

With all of our thoughts...
prepared on 5x7 notecards..

I find myself...
BORED

But....Somehow....Life is What You Make of It

Rock and Roll Suicide-David Bowie

00-daniel
Originally uploaded by mediaeater.

Never Fails
I look forward to a specific event for what seems like an eternity, and by the bewitching hour...all plans have gone to shit.

AT TIMES I WONDER...Do I Set Myself Up For Disappointment?

I had the best layed plans to party with friends to the tunes of the Barbeez since November of 2004. The guest list was becoming so large, I feared lack of tables at the club. I should have known...used my past experience... to lead me in forseeing the future.

It's not like I am used to people not showing up for events. It is not the common thread to my nightmares. Bad dreams also include large groups of friends in attendence of a much anticipated event, but yawning in complete disgust and boredom. I think this was a reoccuring dream of mine before my parents spent all of my life insurance money on "the wedding". Maybe I just hoped that no one would show up to that!

So anyways...with plans of getting together with former coworkers...dancing...drinking...acting like fools...I started to get that not-so-funny lump in my tummy around 5 pm. It was like manning the substitute teacher phone line on a snow day that was never declared. Call after call came in with cancelations....causing me to wonder if I should even bother myself. But I plodded forward...with expectations of ultimate happiness dwindling. Once inside the door of the local bar/club...I found the place hopping...but the faces that stared back at me were none that I knew.

There...at a table near the very back...smelly rest room back...I found two smiling chums....and later...before the band started their first set...several more filtered in from the bitter cold.

....Still, I never really had the time that I had hoped for...the out of control dancing...the laughing...the heart pumping fun that one expects when you plan something so far in advance.

I Set Myself Up For This...NOW, I am sure.

Still...the band rocked...the Barbeez would be worthwhile...even if I was all by myself...which is probably...with my luck...the situation I will find myself in the next time I have
.....Big Plans

If You Were Here-Thompson Twins

Heart Pounding Movie Moment...

Sixteen Candles...the scene at the end...When HE gets out of the car at the church...

It's not because of the car...it's not about the ride

Not because he is gorgeous...it's not about looks

It's just because....

Just Because HE's there..
....when no one else was there at all

Better scene yet...sitting on the table at home...
...with the cake...
...and the KISS
...and the SONG...playing in the
background........

TONIGHT is the Snowball Turnabout Dance at the High School. I have memories of my own. (smile)

VIVID.........memories.....

I shall not be a chaperone, but may reconsider the thought when PROM comes around. I'd love to be a witness to many a girl's own...
............................. Heart Pounding Movie Moment

"Remember everything" she said, "When only memories remain." -Counting Crows

paradisedance
Originally uploaded by blueneurosis.

Message In A Bottle-The Police

>More Like...

"Pour Me In A Bottle"...

Ear has popped...back to drinking...
Much to Choose from...

But anything after a week is okay by me!

Frustation...
Facination...
...
Fanticination....

On the other hand...
after days of debate ...

Much more intense than that of Capital Punishment

I took my son to the Mall
to pierce his ear!

He walked away...
carrying a pink bag...

That Announced

"I Just Got My Ears Pierced at Claires"

and all I have to say is...
"I hope his ear falls off!"

Bottoms Up...What's the MESSAGE here?

waterwaterfish
Originally uploaded by pablokorona.

Who Can It Be Now?-Men at Work

>This is certainly NOT

Mr. Brightside!!!!

beefcakecloseupBlack
Originally uploaded by Hellboytt.

Mr. Brightside-the Killers

I will never run out of SONGS to use as titles for my Blogs....

I find them inspirational...

Mostly a tune filtering through the substandard stereo system in my transportation from
HERE....to...THERE

On this day there are a multitude of...
Mr. Brightside's...
crossing my path...

The students that smile...
That have changes in their own tune from previous encounters...
That share their Starburst...
That wipe their Cheeto powdered fingers before a handshake...

The adults that smile...
That offer advice...
That share simple supplies ...
That wipe the tears of a student crying in the hallway over a C+...

The phone call from a friend that makes me smile..
That offers a shoulder...
That shares a bond...
That wipes away a long day of mind boggling drama into a pause in the day...

Hello Mr. Brightside...

You are Welcomed In...
Like a Song

radiohead
Originally uploaded by SOULS|CK.

Riding the Storm Out-REO Speedwagon

Shadowy Figures
Originally uploaded by Myth Maker.

On a no sun misty morning...
in the Midwest dark of winter...
during a semi-intelligent conversation debating the pros and cons of Captial Punishment...
in a classroom next door....
a young adult hurls a chair against the blackboard jungle.

As if my own were all pre-med interns...they scurry from our room...to administer emergency first aid...
It may also just be that they have been watching too much CSI...
and must view the scene of the crime...
and needed to practice their arm chair investigating skills.

In a school on the other side of town...
my former co-workers..
fight similar battles...
and I smile on the inside of myself...thinking...
hey....
maybe we should waste some of the budget on those trendy little blow up furniture pieces at
K-Mart.


"And I'm not missing a thing
Watching the full moon crossing the range
Riding the storm out...."

Cuts Like a Knife-Bryan Adams

26-11-04_17-17-39.jpg
Originally uploaded by ApeDosMil.

More like a bansaw....kid in Tech Ed cut off his fingers out of sheer boredom.

Lucky Home EC was right next door and sewing kit was handy.

Couldn't locate one digit...used mauve crayon instead.

Bette Davis Eyes-Kim Carnes

WindowInside
Originally uploaded by houshmm.

I had a very interesting day today....as you can imagine...a carousel of ups and downs.
I saw my VERY best friend in the car in front of me on the way to work. But she was going home from dropping off her kid at school...and I was ...on my way to WORK.

We used to talk on the phone EVERY single morning...but now that I have been chained to a job that requires actual duties and a set schedule...I am unable to keep up my morning ritual that had lasted for 8 years.

We live just a few houses away from eachother...and always spoke on the phone...never face to face. Gosh...who needed to see our sorry faces at the early hours we were keeping! We could hear ambulances turning the corner...towards eachother's houses...teenage parties going on in our yards on summer nights. Yet, rarely gazed into the eyes.

Eyes are important...the key to the soul...the heart...the imagination.
Now during our late afternoon converstations...that have replaced our morning chats...I am tired.
I have had events change my mood...and she has kids coming in from school...with dinner to make.
I don't do DINNER.
My eyes are beat...my soul...heart...and part of my imagination.

Maybe I need GLASSES!
........to clarify my priorities.


Shadows cast down...under the lids

Aging,
Tiring,
Bewildered...EYES

By the end of a day...in mirrorless situations

Black on Black,
Running with a silent scream,
People defined....by EYES

Emotions are often hidden...

Or given away...

through my EYES


Eye of the Tiger, Eye of the Storm, Eye to Eye,
The "Eyes" Have It, Eye...Eye, Apple of My Eye

Free To Decide-The Cranberries

I have NEVER lived on my own...have always lived with others....from a child to an adult child...what's up with that?

I think I have been robbed of an important piece of my "so called life".

Things I am sick of....

Being told what to do
Being told to bring home dinner
Being told where to smoke or not to smoke
Being told to turn down my music
Being told...yeah...just.... BEING TOLD

Things I would Like a WHOLE BUNCH...

A cat
A self making bed
Popcorn for dinner
Hot water left in the tank for my bath
Playing my music as LOUD as I want

I have a friend who has always lived alone...well not when she was a kid...but ever since she was out of college.

She tells me that I am the lucky one...I tell her that we should switch for a week or a year!!

Is the Grass Always Greener on the Other Side?

Or does the Other Side Just Have a Pile of Shit in the Grass too?

You Shook Me All Night Long-AC DC

What makes an Insomniac?

What causes a Sleepless Night?

Just gotta get up and Wander...Wonder...Meander...through the quiet of the house...sneaking slowly down the stairs.

Aspirin...Green Tea...a bit of Teli'...
My God...have you ever seen the late night line up?

In the still of the night I was able to scroll through movies such as...
Eyes Wide Shut...
Along Came Polly...
and some slighty unerving flick titled...(someting, something) Eye...about a group of 20 something's that believe they are in a reality show and are about to get paid for spending a determined amount of time in a farm house...but they are really about to get axed!

As I twisted and turned on a very comfortable couch that definitely "has my Number"...I was SHOOK

Too bad I was alone...in my insomniac state...in the dark...with a TV flickering.

Next Time I shall make a Martini to keep me company...

-SHAKEN...NOT STIRRED

When I Go Out With Artists-Crash Test Dummies

I paint....and I have recently hung a creation of mine in the living room.
I say creation because others really don't know what to say when they stand in the middle and view this piece of "CREATION"

They ask things like, "What were you thinking of when you did this?"
and
"What was your inspiration?"

I guess I was trying to go for a Kandinsky type vision. I split the canvas into pieces that represent my life. Sections of dismay, imagination, and flight.

At first I just swirrled around the brush...with color...to a Yes CD.
Then I added shape atop of swirling...sorta...like life...how you swirl through the day and try to take some sort of purpose as you go.

I like it sometimes...to look at it in the room...but at other times...I am like my friends...and don't know quite what to think.
Maybe it needs to grow on me. Maybe I will paint over it...when in a mood that is inspired by another artist...Munch...Dali...Picasso...ME.


"When I go out with artists

They talk about language and the cubists and the dadaist

And I try to catch their meanings

And keep up with all the Martinis.....

I don't know which should be my favorite paintings"


I haven't listened to the Crash Test Dummies for quite a while....can't even find the CD right now in my collection...but do know that that the lyrics have meaning...as I believe my artistic talents have as well....even if others can't recognize it.

Maybe one has to be dead for others to view their work as important.

(Yeah...came home early from the tequila party...taking new steroid prescription for the ear infection and had to come home and shave the newly developing beard! ha ha)

Tequila-The Champs

So tonight...I put all pain aside...and join friends to celebrate a friends birthday...God we are OLD!


The setting...A Mexican Bar and Restaraunt....

The Theme....Let's Drink and forget our age...

...and dance on tabletops!

I once heard a teenager say, "If you get to the point where you find yourself dancing on top of a table, you know you shouldn't be dancing!".

And so I will designate a driver...and wear comfortable shoes....not those platforms kind that Pee Wee Herman wears in his Big Adventure movie...but something with a "non-slip" sole.

One Tequila, Two Tequila, Three Tequila...Floor

FIESTA

E=MC2-Big Audio Dynamite

See Me, Feel Me-The Who

So I am Deaf, Dumb, and Blind. Well, maybe not Dumb, because today some of the students in one of my new classes said I was actually "COOL" and shared their bag of Starburst with me while watching a movie!!

But as I type this Blog...I am deaf in one ear...and in excrutiating pain...so much that I almost neglected my daily Blog entry in lieu of going straight to bed.

And I am Blind to the events that surround me....I can not see what is right in front of me.
I can not see any mail in my box...any friends online...any calls on my Caller ID.

I guess it is all for the best at this time...for in fact...I may not be any good for my friends...let alone myself...in this oblivious state of mind...self....and pain.

Must Go...
...HEAL ME...
-Tommy

In The Car-Barenaked Ladies

So...After my latest post of the day..(and quite a depressing one at that)...I hear a song that forces me to look backwards..into my past...as in WAY BACK..and I find an oblivious state of mind... that transforms me from my disruptive present... that challenges my senses.... and makes me wonder.... "Does The Past Frame Our Future?"

On the radio....I hear a song. "In The Car" ...and it reminds me of my senior year in high school..

"We were looking for ourselves, and found eachother...In the car"

I had spent many nights escaping from my family...and my parents and arguments at home...with a boy...in his car...a burnt orange Cutlass Supreme...
He left me...and went to Australia....

but "THE CAR" has many memories..that... at times... I can look back and remember...and sing along to...on my Barenaked Ladies CD....wishing that I had the opportunity at times...to escape...In The Car....and that life was so simple...that a mere song could erase our pain...and free bad memories.

Doesn't Everyone Think Back To Their Past???


BACK TO THE FUTURE????

Do You Really Want To Hurt Me-Culture Club

I can not stand listening to the members of my household argue...don't they understand how hurtful it is for me to listen to?

I hate them...I hate them...I hate them...I hate them.

'Nuff Said
Must consume several glasses of Shiraz

No Need to Argue...the Cranberries

Adult Education-Hall and Oats

Today I have learned...Not to set expectations too high....Not to dream the impossible dream....Not to think every day at work will be like the last...and...Not to stop learning.

Thrown into covering an 11th grade English class for another co-worker, I found that teens will test the teacher.
With cottin in ear, from the previously mentioned middle ear infection of the day before...I may have been lucky to only be listening to half of the conversations that took place during the test that I administered. First of all I have never read Steinbeck's "The Pearl", and second of all, I don't think the kids taking the test had either! But after a set of three to four word answers they made it through...and so did I.

Upon the ringing of the bell that needed to sound about fifteen minutes before it's time....WE had managed to get through a 45 minute class....without incident.

Tomorrow, I have decided to wear a silly hat, play Beat the PRO, (of which I always intentionally lose) and pass out candy to all. After I gain a repoir with this group of showmen...I will then attempt to follow the lesson plans of another...and smile...realizing that I still...have much to learn.

Adult Education, Bad Education, Advanced Education, Higher Education, Public Education...
And a quote from King Friday the XIII of Mister Roger's..."What is Education coming to?"

Doctor Doctor-Thompson Twins

What are the odds?....Take on a few new classes and second day into it, end up in complete and ultimate pain. Not Workman's Comp pain, mind you, but absolute middle ear popping, lose all sense of balance pain. On top of struggling through the second day of new people, new students and new keys to fit into new doors...the receptionist at the doctor's office has no appointments available for the rest of the day...until you threaten to take your valuable $30 co-pay to the Urgent Care office ASAP.

DOCTOR, DOCTOR...can't you see I'm burnin', burnin'....

Alrighty then....once in the office paging through Well Baby and Good Housekeeping magazines, the entire female office support staff begins oogling over the George Clooney look alike that hands out the free samples of Zoloft and Welbutrin.

"Excuse me...Batman....I believe I was here first!!"

So after a quick rundown of what I could have easily self-diagnosed....I am wandering through the aisles of Walgreens...picking up odds and more odds of items to occupy my time.

A consultation with the pharmasist follows, with advice on how to administer ear drops and swallow the anitbiotics made sure to be taken with food.

I guess that justifies the bag of chocolate covered almonds that I just plopped up on the checkout counter...What the Heck!

Maybe I should have considered admittence at the local ER....with look alike George, Noah Wyle, and the cute guy that plays LUKA!!

Doctor Doctor, Doctor Doolittle, Doctor Kildare,
Doctor Zhivago, Doctor Welby, Doctor Demento,
Doctor Ruth, Doc Holiday, Doctor Dre, Doctor Seuss

Burning Down the House-Talking Heads

It all starts as a slow running drain...in the bathroom, as you are spitting out the toothpaste from a morning brush. You notice it slowly, daily, driving you a little bit crazy. With a splash of liquid Draino...you believe that all will be alright. To your disbelief...it turns into an entire nights disaster...a nightmare...an arguement...a MESS.

Remind me that when I move out...I will purchase a condo downtown...looking over the lake...maybe a bit closer to the east side. High, lofty ceilings, granite top counters, and a coffee machine that grinds it's own beans. The windows will give views that are breaths away from breathtaking. The elevator will contain a smiling attendant, in blue velveteen. I will have my groceries delivered, and keep a small Russian Blue. I will call upon the building maintanance man that exposes no sign of crack out of his low rise jeans. He will not swear as he performs his repair...or blame it all on me.

After a night of seemingly endless repair...and $50 later...the sink continues to drain a bit slow....but I have resolved myself to light myself a cigarette....and BURN DOWN the HOUSE

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Walk Like an Egyptian-Bangles

So...on this second day of the New Year...I have already challenged a resolution of 2005.
Call me weak, non-commital, a procrastinator....but I also wonder, as I sit in my most comfortable bed, wrapped in non allergenic down, that...
ONCE RESOLUTIONS ARE MADE...ARE THEY DESIGNED TO BE BROKEN?

I made many, one being that I would walk either outside in the Wisconsin elements, or downstairs in the treadmill surrounded by motivational posters...Brad Pitt, Hugh Grant, and others.

I strayed from my promises...smoked almost a full pack of cigarettes, in the house, from morning till...well tonight.

I kept several promises...made a real dinner/not frozen, cleaned up the house, told those who live in my house that I loved them, balanced the check book, and organized a photo book.

A few houses away, my friend broke promises too. She continued to smoke, stayed on the phone with me for over 30 minutes, and did not tell her family that she loved them.

I promise to walk tomorrow. I will walk with a playlist in ear, Alternative 80's music as motivation. I will spy into windows of the houses nearby, and wonder if they too, are breaking promises and resolutions just days after they have been made.

Walk Like a Man, Walking on Sunshine, Walk on the Wild Side, Walk on By, and Walk This Way

Politics of Dancing/Re-Flex

Until I figure out how to add pictures to my posts one will have to transfer these written images into a visual form that has much to be desired.

Picture this if you will indulge....Minutes to midnight....stereo blaring in smoke filled kitchen....men sitting complacently in one room, women in another...moving their alchohol enhanced bodies to various blends of alternative dance moves...some not seen since the decade that they attended college.

A conversation has once taken place between my spouse and I, that argued the fact on his side, that those who dance in public arenas are only doing so with the "Look at Me" mind set. I, on the other hand, believe that dancing in places where others gather, truly takes place when one can not contain themself during moments of pulsating beats and lyrics that "move" the soul.

The moment described here, in the kitchen, just specks of time before a new year crosses our path, is absolutly an arguement that proves my before mentioned point. We did not care for anyone to "Look at Us". In fact, the less that observed this display of misjudgement and body plagued passion, the more we could let loose and have fun. What happened in the midst of the DANCE is more embarassing than the dance itself...we SANG.

Using party horns as microphones we belted our hearts out to song after song...including renditions of such musical mishaps as "Come on Eileen","You Spin Me Right Round", and my all time favorite, "Politics of Dancing". Dogs barked in the distance of night, young children covered their ears in dismay, and men from the other room picked straws as to who would be the chap that must enter the room to recover more cocktails and champagne for the Midnight countdown.

All in all, we regained our composure long enough to join the others for the remainder of the evening...lasting into the wee hours of morn...only to wake with a few minor pulled muscles.

What are the true politics of dancing?
What causes one to move to music?
Do they want to be watched?
Do they think they look good?

Or do we dance because it is Politically Incorrect in the first place?