Come back Down-Lifehouse

The Death of Romance
Originally uploaded by lorrainemd.

Trapped in a corner of Fear and Dismay
She Wondered
"What IF..."
She Came Back Down...
and In a Dream
...He came Around...

Yet SHE didn't even know him very WELL
(and I FEEL just like this PIC)


"Staring right back in the face
A memory can't be erased
I know, because I tried

Start to feel the emptiness
And everything I'm gonna miss
I know, that I can't hide

All this time is passing by
I think it's time to just move on

When you come back down
If you land on your feet
I hope you find a way to make it back to me
When you come around
I'll be there for you
Don't have to be alone with what you're going through

...

You're coming back down
You say you feel lost can I help you find it
When you come around
From time to time we all are blinded
You're coming back down
You don't have to tell me what you're feeling
I know what you're going through
I won't be the one that lets go of you

I think it's time to just move on


I'll be there for you
Don't have to be alone with what you're going through"
-Lifehouse

Everything Will Be Alright-The Killers

mind and sword
Originally uploaded by antimethod.

So tonight instead of Blogging on and on about my newly discovered professional bliss...
I will discuss my frickin' anger about 17...who equally stirs my soul...

With both teens going to high school this year...I played the "Good Mother", designating morning shower schedules, carefully placing notebooks and pens in pre-assigned spots on the table, and standing firm on staying in this evening. None of which have worked...for 17 that is.

I guess I must be a Retard (personally offensive since I work with special education students) because all of the Seniors had reservations downtown at an Italian restaraunt, HE can get his own materials for school, and HE gets the same shower time that he has always had because HE has SENORITY.

SO I lost at all of my well intentions...and cried in private. He went out, refused to pack his backpack, and F***ed up the shower schedule.

If HE continues to behave in this manner, I will save $15,000 per year on college! ... and that is before books and personal items...at least!

So I plan to go off every morning, leaving before both boys barely get up, driving more miles than I care to, only to end up in a parking lot full of its own teens and wondering...

"Will Everything Be Alright"

SHIT...why does he HATE ME SO?

Lies-Thompson Twins

White Lies
Originally uploaded by vintage girl.

It is becoming very difficult to develop Comprehension Questions for class

When all That comes into my head
are Questions of Why you Became so Distant

And at certain times on Random nights after a cocktail in the middle of this Cooling Air...
I take a cigarette out to the patio
Look up into the sky

...And Question all This

"You told me you loved me
so I don't understand
why promises are snapped in two
and words are made to bend...

"You say you'll try harder
but I think it's just too late
well, the car is revving in the drive,
and I'm not the sort to wait"
-Thompson Twins

Dreams of Your Youth

Man
Originally uploaded by ART NAHPRO.

The weekend reunion was two fold...
The visit from my parents was sad...with a mom so sick and a dad so stern...It hurts just to watch them watch me.

The high school reunion was all that was to be expected. All of the Jocks, the Greasers, the Freaks, the Geeks from every year the high school existed, all hanging out in the new fieldhouse. We laughed at the fact we were smoking and drinking right out in the OPEn on school grounds...even inside the school with the drinking part...gee, no more hidden flasks. On the self guided tour that a bunch of us swaggered through...we found our old lockers... (put a can of beer inside one for an unsuspecting student to find this morning)...my digital camera took picutres of the cafeteria corner we sat in...the lunch lady line that we posed to be lunch ladies in, the bathroom we all were busted smoking in, our homerooms, the "secret skip out"hallways...all the MEMORIES. This guy in my pic for this Blog...I think I had him in a Biology class!!!

We went to an old stomping ground bar after the gig at the school was over. We laughed...we flirted...we laughed some more. We were just like kids all over again. My old best friend NEVER showed up...she could've stolen H right from under me...no fight involved.

Tonight I begin my school year routine. Workout Walk with L, Glass or two of Wine, Hot bath, Blogging and chatting with friends online up in my bed with the tv on in the background.

Dreams of Your Youth...yes...I have them.
Dreams of my Future...a bit More Bleak

Dreams
Nightmares
Blackouts

I am Lonely Today, and Missing terribly Certain people that have left Me
or are Gone

BIG

soothing bath
Originally uploaded by isherwood.

Big Night
Big Party
BIG HEADACHE

Lounging in bath and on couch all day!!!

Tropical Storm

Tropical Storm
Originally uploaded by ART NAHPRO.

It COULD HAPPEN!

Whatever Happened-The Strokes

Mid-August in the sinking city
Originally uploaded by ~Ivan~.

I've got this SinKing FeeLing
Going DOWN

And Nothings Gonna Shake it

So tonight I am gonna prep for the school reunion by mixing Vodkas on Ice and Smoking Like a Mad woman on the patio....
Before heading over to the Ball....

If I had other mind altering items from my High School daZe...I would indulge in those as well.

Not that I do not look forward to seeing old friends...this time is different...all Graduating years will be there...not just my own class.

So the guys look down at the younger girls tables...glancing at those they used to date or wanted to date...and the Women look up to the Older years...doing the same.

Me....I dated those in my own year of graduation, except for a few in the year younger than myself and one in the year older. I wasn't a jock, but i was a Pom Pon girl...out on the fields and court at half time...usually after a few pre game cocktails with friends...come on ...it was high school and during my senior year MOST of us were of legal age to drink back then...18.

A lot of people did not enjoy their high school years...I LOVED it. I loved my classes and my friends...and my HAIR looked fabulous!
College was awful for me...when MOST people think back at that as their greatest time in younger aged History...I saw College as torture.
So I will see old flames...they will see me...H will socialize with ALL of the girls who flock to him...pretending they think he went to the same school. He will flirt...i will not care. (Like i said before...he has such damn charisma...why won't he use it on me?)

Australia will be there. We will make small talk.
Ever see the movie Gross POint Blank with John Cusak...that is just what this night will be like. Old retro music...name tags...I shall remember to bring a sharp pen and find that BITCH of a so called BEST FRIEND that never calls me anymore now that we have gotten old. I plan to stab her in the Heart...she stole a few boyfriends of mine on the rebound.

Did I say she was a BITCH??

Yeah...Whatever Happened to the good old days?
Whatever Happened to ME?
Whatever Happened to HIM?

...Whatever HappenS tonight
May just Need to be Forgotten!

Still Sinking
Mental Note: Eat Something before drinking

Say It Isn't So-Weezer

The Apple
Originally uploaded by ocellnuri.

No one Ever saw It Coming
She typed until She could type No More
And then
The letter E
along with the Letter N

Faded away
At her
Fingertips

Love Shack-B52's

Wind 'n Sea Hut
Originally uploaded by HapaKorean.

Well... It's not Exactly a LOVe Shack...
More Like a SURF Shack
Set up where our yards come together

With Cabana Blue and White striped flooring
Green and Blue Sling back chairs (4)
A low bamboo table for holding drinks
And a canvas hanging on the left side for privacy!

Us Four gals hang out here at night Sometimes
Tiki torches and candles
Wind Chimes and sun Catchers
I have even brought in a Coconut and wooden chime hanging thingy from Maui

And tonight we sat...L and T and I and myself
just us Gals
Drinking drinks with umbrellas
Overlooking T's pool that the kids haven't used in weeks
Gazing into the backs of our houses, drenched in amber light as the sun begins to sink into Autumn.

All of us smoking...(me just three the entire night!!)
All of us Laughing
Comisserating

Then with one last Splash of Summer
On a Sixty something degree night
We held our Breath
All held Hands
...and jumped in
(Ear infection and All)
...all ran back to out houses
...all changed into jeans and sweatshirts
...all came back out and laughed again!

Love Shack...sure
We Love Eachother

If that's All I got
I'll Take it!!!

Seventeen-Sex Pistols

most comfy
Originally uploaded by rechargable.

Feeling as bit Comfy today
Wearing Old jeans
And my tennis shoes
are similar
But Grey suede with pink accents

Just wanna Curl UP
Like my Secretive Cat
Feeling Quite ILL
Ear Infctions has moved Into throat
Heavy on my Chest as Well

Up early this morning, I walked around the house like a ballerina on eggshells...trying not to wake the sleeping teens.

17 woke up unusually crabby and rude. He had to roll into the high school today to pick up his schedule. We argued about paperwork and his athletic clearance card application.
He should become an attorney…he thinks you can argue Anybody into Anything…then again…he could also become a great CAR salesman.

Needless to Say
He lost the use of MY car for the day.

Comfort....
I do believe I needed Chocolate

All These Things That I've Done-The Killers

There's a song in my heart
Originally uploaded by lapinfille.

Taking a look back
At my Blog of the Summer

It all looks BeTTer on PaPer

Look deePer
Now

All These things that I've Done
Just a memory
Fading Fast
Never to Last

Time to start FreSH

Oh Yeah...I tried very hard to quit smoking yesterday...It lasted for 4 hours ;(

This IS T0morow-Bryan Ferry

Not Always Easy
Originally uploaded by vintage girl.

LOOKING for Happy THoughts
MAYbe Tomorrow.;
Now...going back to work after 84 days off isn't quite the Happiest thing in the world
BUT...It is JUSt what I need at this TIME

New People
New THOUGHTS
HAPPY
TRYing
TO BE

I went into work today to check out the literature selection. I have some choices...Among the Hidden: very good Sci Fi that I have already read...The Giver: Lois Lowery classic and Gathering Blue:same author...very good. (I have read them both as well) I chose an easy read to start out the year...The Dead Man In Indian Creek by Mary Downing Hahn: A story that is set in the fall about some middle school boys that go camping and find a "surprise". Now it is not at all as deep as the first three, but I must start out easy...to trap them! The class is all special education; 5 boys and 2 girls that are in 7th grade but read at 5th. I spent 3 hours today reading, grabbing vocab, and developing comprehension questions!

Tonight, with eyes strained...I sat on the porch, drinking red wine and smoking more than I should. It is 9:40 and I sit by the tv watching the series finale of SIX FEET UNDER...an HBO series that I just started enjoying...that of course...my luck...has come to an end. Always my LUCK...good things coming to an end.

17 took the car and will not be home until midnight. 14 is on his bike and will return by
10:30. H is upstairs in bed...readying for a long day of work. I try to Challenge myself with one last cigarette and glass of wine!

Not Always Easy
Nothing Ever IS

But DAMN

Nothing Has StoPPed me
SO FAR

OH Yeah...
Just found Out
DEVO is playing at the House of Blues
in Chicago this Thrusday and Friday
Soooo Sad I found out too late
ALready have tickets for
MY
ALL SCHOOL
HIGH SCHOOL
REUNION

Hmmmm....can not wait to see
Soooo many people from the past

That Was Then, THis IS NOW
SE HInton

One Week-Barenaked Ladies

lost in blue
Originally uploaded by El Angel Caído.

This is the Very Last FULL week off of school before I go back. And actually I can not even call this a full week becuase I do need to go in to school and search the library trying to figure out what book I am going to start the 7th graders out on.

So........

I floated all day yesterday in the sun, savoring all that I could and then joined friends in the yard to grill out and drink wine. For some reason I was not in a prime mood. I do believe that my ear is still bothering me and now giving me a sore throat as well.

This week I still need to complete a few "last tasks" to make my summer complete...

One more trip down to the lakefront

One more lunch downtown with L

One more afternoon at the chicken wing bar playing trivia with all my new summer friends

One more trip to the library

One more big house cleaning

...and then there are some things I have Totally put OFF...

Give the dog a bath

Straighten out the attic

Clean ALL closets and drawers

...and then there are things I would like to do that will never get done...

Make 17 show respect and compassion

Make sure 14 doesn't turn into 17

Confront H

Run Away

RUn VERY FAR AWAY!!!!
(Can You see me here....in the water....i am running as fast as i can!)

IMG_40
Originally uploaded by lapinfille.

Why do I fall In Love with anyone
Who Looks in My direction?

Sugar We're Going Down-Fall Out Boy

Last Night at a festival Many Miles away
In a field with the Biggest tent I have Ever seen
With My favorite Music playing in Tune
Under the Stars

Soemone struck up a COnversation
.....More Than a Conversation
That intrigued me

He had an Infectuious smile
He gave it to ME

And for ONE night
I felt Alive
Again

My Paper Heart-All American Rejects

Well Here is THE LIST of Rejects:
(The night was awful...the music was great)

1. BAD....One of 14's friends decided his mom wouldn't let him go...I am out $20

2. GOOD...I got a great spot in front of the building

3. BAD....Drinks are $7 a piece

4. BAD...The bartender i DO NOT know made the first two very weak

5. BAD...My bartender/bassist still wasn't there at 8:30

6. GOOD...I spent a lot of time on the outdoor patio, looking out over a crowd entering the area...teen girls struck up a hip conversation with me.

7. SAD... called B/B on his cell and his band practice was running late

8. GOOD....I foud Jon the bartender on another level of the club and hep oured REALLY good drinks

9. BAD....B/B NEver showed

10. GOOD/BAD...the concert rocked...I got into the 3rd row...splashed by water...awed by the bassist (love bassists)...but never had ANYONE to Brush up Against...total teeny bopper...under 25 crowd.

Again...a night with large expectations..CRUSHED

And I come home to H who is crabby as shit...all the 14s sleep over.....and I must wait up until 1 AM for 17.

SHIT
EAR INFECTION
SHIT
LOVE INFECTION
LOST

MY Paper HEART
RIPPED

I'm Waiting-ALL AMERICAN REJECTS

Can't Wait
Can't Wait
Can't WAIT....

Taking 14 and three of his friends...
What nice kids to let their MOM come along

Knowing that the Bassist/Bartender will also be there

Looking forward to a night of unexpected
INTERESTINESS!!!

...no Rejections...

TONIGHT!!!

Time Stands Still-All American Rejects

The Bubble Magician
Originally uploaded by tarotastic.

She found herself caught in a Moment of time
Trapped inside a Bubble
Alone

The night came and went
And all she woke up with was a
Headache!

Actually....the concert last night was very entertaining
The park was packed with more people than 4 portable toilets could service...I found myself in a grouping of bushes. I then directed others!
I saw many people throughout the evening and ended up wandering around a bit on my own. I worked my way up to the front of the stage where people stood and swayed. This band was featured in the movie Titanic. They were the ones in the bottom of the ship with the "common" people playing the rowdy music. This band was great to see on a perfect night in the park. I smiled!

I went home.
waited for 14 until 10:30
waited for 17 until 12:00

waited for sleep..didn't wait long
head hit the pillow
out
in a bubble of dreams

The Beautiful Side of Somewhere-Wallflowers

Graffiti en Patraix #2
Originally uploaded by Xavi Calvo.

Somewhere
THere is a Beautiful side to Everything

Just need to keep Searching
Inward for the View.....

Slipped in to the Doctor's office this morning
Slid into T's Pool once Home
SOMEWHERE
I Clutched a moment or two
to be Happy!

And the DAY moves ON

Changes-David Bowie

Strange Little Girls
Originally uploaded by vintage girl.

Strange Days blend into Odd Nights
Summer fades
Nights begin to get cooler and T's pool isn't as warm as it used to be.

We all mope....the girls of Summer
We've had Afternoon Tans
Cocktail Evenings
Laughs on walks through the night

The teens and kids will backpack off to school
We will sigh and distribute money for lunches
Some of us will drive off to work
Others will smile big smiles and pour another cup of coffee
CHANGES

Tonight is the last of the Summer Concerts in the Park
We will gather at my house....Eat and drink Irish beer and whiskey and Cream!
All will continue over to the park and listen to the last songs of the season..an Irish band this time.
Later all will end up back here...trying to hold on as long as possible...to a feeling...a Mood.

I MUST visit the doctor today if I plan to have ANY FUN or hear ANY MUSIC....
My left ear has done it again...as in January...and is swollen, throbbing, darts of pain. An ear infection isn't much fun at all.

Hey, but at least have a great excuse to not hear the teenage comments from 17!...and equally immature comments from H.

14 is a bit better these last few days....he gave the Cross Country team a try last night and even though he is slotted at a starting wide receiver on the Freshman Football team.....I do believe he is going to pick the Runners over the Barbarians!
Foorball is a great sport to watch, but it truly expects an interesting mentality from it's players....my 14 is slowly learning new lessons in LIFE.
CHANGES

All things Change from time to time
EVOLVE

No one ever sees it Coming...till it's CAME

Turn Out The LIght And Love ME Tonight-Kenny Chesney

I FADE into the porch steps wearing a 20 year old nighshirt from the CHEERS bar in Boston...then staggering out from the driveway onto the open street....Carribean Rum and Coke in hand on a sultry night in August.

The fog lies down on the Amber crusted streets as the treefrogs sing sweetly in my head.

I SOAK into the night.

It SOAKS into Me.

I wake from a dreamy Daze just a few 30 minutes later...
to realize my REALITy

is Tooo true
To be MINE

Just LOVE ME
PLEASE

and ask NO Questions
Cuz I Will Ask You NONE

The Bitter End of a Bottle - I Have Murdered Her

The bitter End of a Bottle - I have murdered her
Originally uploaded by moonchild41.

I am not quite myself...and this isn't helping any more.

I got bit by T's new 1 1/2 year old MONSTER German Shepard today while in her yard.

17 is crabby and picking on me.

14 is equally cruel when getting home from 6 hour football practices.

I need something...but just can't quite put my finger on it.

I've read all the books I can. Rented all the DVD's that inspire me. Bought a few new outfits. Painted. Flea marketed. Went to EVERY fair and festival offered in the surrounding area. Received a massage, manicure, and pedicure. Entered new bars. Went out to lunch with L at least 1o times this summer in fun, interesting places. Listened to enough music to fill two iPods. Spent time at the lake...many lakes. Layed forever in the sun. Cleaned my house. Walked over 150 miles.

I have two weeks left.

Inspire ME!

Rise-Saves The Day

left my soul there down by the lake
Originally uploaded by anideg.

I RISE and am Not quite feeling right today, and not really quite knowing why. Just moping around and wasting my days. Yesterday was realxing and overcast, so I skipped the beach and just opened up ALL of the windows and let in a breeze, lounging on the couch watching movies all day....even mustered up a nice dinner!

Hmmm....The sun shines this morning while the cat sits in the window. She has taken to coming out from under the bed in the early morning and at night while I sleep. She still does not venture out of the limits of my bedroom.

I think I shall be a cat and lie in the sun all day today....a day by the pool....a good book....some good music....and a few drinks with umbrellas.

Why NOT?

No need to Rise for a few more weeks.

I’m Just a Prisoner of Love.

I’m just a prisoner of love.
Originally uploaded by lapinfille.

Prisoner of Love, Passion, Romance
Music, Wine, Cigarettes
Lonliness, Dreams, Sadness

Prisoner without Chains

Wow...these days are really becoming long here
Got a letter in the mail that all teachers need to report to "kick-off" on August 30th.

Just another form of Prison!!

But it gets me out, I adore the kids and classes, and strolling the hallways with a sense of purpose gets my mind moving. Time to go to Sam's Club and stock up on buckets of candy, soda, and chips for reinforcement! (I just love whipping squares of Starburst across the room at those who laugh at my crazy sense of humor!) It's like being on stage all day long, with a different audience every 50 minutes.
The very BEST thing...overhearing a student tell their friend that you are the BEST teacher they have...oh yeah, and also pretending to be a mean bitch the first week...even though you are not at all!
The WORST thing...eating lunch all alone in the classroom. Mental Note: I am NOT going to do that this year...no matter how painful and difficult it is to explore new territory in already established cliques of adults.

Prisoner of Love...Just need to find the LOVE....already found the PRISON

Have You Seen Me Lately?-Counting Crows

Alone on the Beach
Originally uploaded by artofgold.

I Do not believe that I can see my own self here.
Today I soaked into nothingness, and no one even noticed. I ran errands...Library, Gas Station, Dry Cleaner, Post Office, Starbucks.

It is odd...I think...that it is soooo difficult to meet people in a coffee shop. People gather, reading a newspaper, fumbling through paperwork, typing on laptops....but few speak to strangers. Is it the lack of alcohol? The lack of a smoke filled room?

I do not think I will go back there...it was much more depressing than sitting at home...watching Garden State and My Life Without Me and everything else that has been way overplayed on HBO this summer.

Last year I remember...It was Donnie Darko.

Hmmmm....now Music and Movies are Messing with My MIND.

Have you Seen Me Lately?
I do believe tomorrow I shall hit the Beach.

Look for the headlines...
"TEACHER'S FEET LEAVE THE SAND, HEADING FOR OPEN WATER"

99.9F-Suzanne Vega

The sinking city - A safe seat
Originally uploaded by *Ivan*.

Summer Swelters here, yet time Sinks desperately away from me.

I spent my entire day at the Fair yesterday, knowing that is the true sign that summer's end draws near. Corn Dogs, Poultry barns, Midway rides, and small town bands under Multiple Beer Tents were enough to keep my mind working for a day.

Registration forms for 14 and 17 drop into the mail slot...both being in high school and fall sports make me quiver with anticipation of getting back to a routine.

T's pool gets less and less use each day, yet I continue to jump in each morning...spinning....slowly....around in a circle of Serenity.
99.9 degrees in the Yard.
Topping 100 in my Soul.

Nothing To Say-Chris Isaac

ni chair ni poisson
Originally uploaded by anideg.

It's raining today and even though I do LOVE the rain on a hot summer day....I seem to be missing the magical FISH to make it mine!

What If-Coldplay

something still holds me
Originally uploaded by antimethod.

What If I could shake this slipping down feeling forever and there were no bends in the road?

What if someone would just fly over to me and lift me up...taking me away from it all?

What if the music that I play was not so depressingly relevant to my life and all I had to do was sing along, slowly sway out of bed to make a shiny perfect day?

I think I am going to try something new here.
But it is hard to handle something you don't know.
And some things are just bigger than the sky.

Hmmm........Any suggestions?

"Oooh, that's right
Let's take a breath jump over the side
Oooh, that's right
How can you know it if you don't even try
Oooh, that's right"
-Coldplay

Can't Take It-All American Rejects

Fishing Camp Dusk
Originally uploaded by roamin.

If I could place myself into this Photograph
I would lie myself down
Inside the middle boat
All curled Up
Close my eyes.....

There are things that I can not Take right now...
The heat
The end of Summer...it's last gasp
My messy room
The cat I adopted that hides under the bed
The thought of taking her back to the shelter
17 driving my car downtown with no regard
14 becoming a Freshman and being tormented by his very own brother...17
14 kicking 17's Ass in retaliation
The loss of several friends

There are also some good things going on...
A few new friends
A new job to start soon
A soon to start Football Season

If I could just lie down in the middle boat
Untie it's rope
And float away

...Float Away
Can't Take It

I still look really Happy on the outside however
No One even knows
The pain

I did just recently go see a movie with a new friend. It was nice. It was air conditioned and cold. We ate popcorn. The truth is I had no idea What the movie was even about. I couldn’t tell the good guys from the bad guys if you paid me a million dollars. But I do know that there isn't anyone on this whole entire planet that I'd rather be Not watching that movie with Than him! Just a friend with a smile, but someone to take my mind off of the "Dreads of my Day". That was One day, that was good to me lately.
Maybe next time we could just lie around in a boat.

Outta Your Head-Aerosmith

Life
Originally uploaded by crazysexygroovy.

Trying sooo desperatly to get certain thoughts out of my Head here....but just Can'T

Even though there are things that seem to have going my way lately...there are still things that are not, and I have no one to talk to about that but myself.
I wish I could hold a sense of humor about all of this, but it seems as if I have lost my Humor Muse
....all gone.

I jumped in T's pool around 10:30 this morning and floated around in a circle of thought. If I was truly Autistic, the cycle would have been invigorating, but alas...no such luck.
...On to watching Meet Joe Black for the gazillionth time, the sex scene caused an outburst of pent up emotion and distress.
...Took a nap in the late afternoon, fought with H about his procrastination regarding the park activities, and hopped into the car by myself. The very same thing happened last year....we fought...I went alone.
...Saw "Australia". He was there with his wife and kids...mother tagging along. Our eyes connected...we even smiled, but I couldn't stand to watch him...wanted to be closer....to touch him...so I bailed and came home.

Camped out in front of the TV again...H had "gone out" on his own. Watched Garden State...again...
...again
...again
Geeez....HBO is driving me CRAZY.

Summer drags in August...I begin to become bored...waiting to go back to school/work...and am done with the entire Tanning excitement.

I am Outta My Head crazy here....and still can not decide whether I am experiencing sadness or anger.

I think depression is repressed anger...I think.

I heard a line in a movie the other day...female character suggesting to a friend that she should say how she feels outloud...to others.

Damn...can't even do that.
The Ledge is Sooooo CLOSE to my FEET

SWing, Swing, Swing-All American Rejects

FUNNY.....

Sitting here feeling REJECTED
FALLING from Grace.....

I open my MAIL....
and Guess Friggin' WHAT???????????

TWO MAILS from MALES

One from my new lunch buddy and "Not So Anonymous" Friend....
with a possible Job Hook Up....!!!!
(Hate to say I TOLD YOU SO...but he isn't someone to be frightened of after all)

Another from My LOVELY BASSIST/BARTENDER
Getting me TIX for this upcoming Concert....AAR

I am taking 14 and three of his Jaded Friends
I will sit at the Bar
But not with a Girlfriend....this time
HE....BASS BOY...is taking it on to new levels on
the OTHER SIDE of the Bar

SHIT
Here I go again....
Manically SWINGING

Series of Pain

after2
Originally uploaded by timsperez.

It's just like this
The sun is out
and I am IN

Right Now
I am not even Sure
WHY I am felling like this

I am over all the Pain
the HurT
the Confusion

I still want tO DIE

One Last Breath-Creed

courtyard balcony.
Originally uploaded by dangerousmeta.

Standing In Darkness
and Pain

Can't Shake it
Can't even WRite
ABOUT it TodaY

"Please come now I think I'm falling
I'm holding to all I think is safe
It seems I found the road to nowhere
And I'm trying to escape
I yelled back when I heard thunder
But I'm down to one last breath
And with it let me say
Let me say

Hold me now
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking
Maybe Six Feet
Ain't So Far DOWN"
-Creed